The road less traveled

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The right thing to do is to make ourselves and our children

The right thing to do is to make ourselves and our children realize that life's problems and pains are of extraordinary value. The courage to take responsibility and face difficulties can make the mind healthy. Self-discipline is the primary tool to solve life problems and an important means to eliminate the pain of life. Through self-discipline, we know how to benefit from learning and growth with perseverance and courage in the face of problems. When we teach ourselves and our children self-discipline, we are also teaching both of us how to endure pain and grow up. Problems and Pain (2) Little; say , t, xt, Tian'tang What are the skills of self-discipline? How to eliminate the pain of life through self-discipline? To put it simply, the so-called self-discipline is an important principle to solve the pain of life with a positive and active attitude, which mainly includes four aspects: postponing gratification, taking responsibility, respecting facts and maintaining balance. They are not complicated, but to use them correctly, you need to experience them carefully and practice them extensively. They are actually quite simple, and even a 10-year-old child can finally master them. But sometimes, even if you are the king of a country, you will be retaliated and destroyed by ignoring and ignoring them. The key to practicing these principles is your attitude. You have to face the pain instead of running away. For people who want to avoid pain all the time, these principles will not play any role, and they will never benefit from self-discipline. Next, I will elaborate on these principles in depth, and then explore the driving force behind them-love. Postpone gratification Not long ago,water filling machine, a 30-year-old financial analyst asked for my help to correct her habit of procrastinating in recent months. We explored her views on her boss, his attitude towards her, her sense of authority and the situation of her parents. We also talked about her ideas about work and achievement; the impact of these ideas on her views on marriage and gender; her desire to compete with her husband and colleagues, and her fear of competition. Despite repeated efforts, this routine psychological analysis and treatment has not touched the crux of the problem. Finally, one day, we entered a field that had been neglected for a long time,liquid bottle filling machine, which made the treatment turn around. Do you like cake? I asked. She answered that she liked it. "Do you prefer cake," I continued, "or the cream on the cake?" "Oh, cream, of course!" She said excitedly. "So, how do you usually eat cake?" I asked again. I may be the stupidest shrink ever. "Why," she said without hesitation, "I usually finish the cream before I finish the cake." In this way, we started from the habit of eating cakes and discussed her attitude towards work again. As I expected, in the first hour of work, she always finishes the easy and pleasant work first, and in the remaining six hours, she tries to avoid the difficult work. I suggest that from now on, in the first hour of work, Vegetable oil filling machine ,juice filling machine, she should first solve those troublesome errands, and in the remaining time, other work will become relatively easy. Considering that she studied financial management, I explained it this way: based on seven hours of work a day, one hour of pain plus six hours of happiness is obviously more cost-effective than one hour of happiness plus six hours of pain. She fully agreed with this method of calculation, and resolutely carried it out, and soon completely overcome the bad habit of procrastination. Postponing gratification means not seeking temporary comfort. It is the only way to reset the order of happiness and pain in life: first, face the problem and feel the pain; then, solve the problem and enjoy greater happiness. In fact, as early as childhood (usually from the age of five), we can learn the principles of self-discipline and avoid the disadvantages of seeking only immediate comfort. For example, in kindergarten, some games require children to take turns to participate in. If a five-year-old boy is more patient, let his companions play the game first, and wait until the end, he can enjoy more fun. He can play to his heart's content without being urged. For six-year-old children, they can enjoy a sweeter taste by not eating the cream in one sitting, or eating the cake first and then the cream. Primary school children treat homework correctly, which is the best way to practice "postponing gratification". When children reach the age of 12, they do not need to be urged by their parents to finish their homework first and then go to watch TV. After the age of fifteen or sixteen, their practice can be more handy. In adolescence, when they deal with similar problems, they should form a habit or normality. According to the experience of educators, many adolescents lack this healthy normal state. Many children understand the benefits of delaying gratification, but others clearly lack the ability and experience. When some children are fifteen or sixteen years old, they still lack the consciousness of "suffering first, enjoying later", but just reverse the order, they can easily become "problem students". Their IQ is not inferior to others, but they refuse to study hard, resulting in their grades lagging far behind others. They speak and act on impulse. On a whim, they are apt to play truant or truant. They are reluctant to think and lack patience, which can easily endanger their social life: they like to fight, they are accompanied by drugs, and they deliberately embarrass and conflict with the police, which is common. "Enjoy first, pay later" has become their motto. They need psychological treatment most, but it is often too late. Emotional adolescents usually do not like to be interfered with, even if the psychotherapist can slowly resolve their hostility with an objective, fair and cordial attitude, it is difficult for them to actively cooperate with the whole treatment process. Their subjective impulses are too strong and they often avoid regular treatment. All the efforts of psychologists often end in failure, and eventually these children leave school and wander in society. Their adult life is also extremely bad-unhappy marriage, absent-minded,PET blow moulding machine, absent-minded, vulnerable to accidents, and mental hospitals or prisons may become their ultimate destination.